Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sue Scheff - Prevent CyberBullying


Vanessa Van Petten continues to bring valuable information for parents with today’s teens. This week she has dedicated to helping prevent cyberbullying.



Thank you to everyone who is already offered to join and spread the word about our anti-cyberbullying campaign here at On Teens Today:

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Sue Scheff: Mom Blogs - Parenting Teens


Recently I am noticing more and more parents are stepping up and talking about their issues, concerns, frustrations as well as sharing ideas and tips they have used in raising their children. All in all, it is about parents helping parents.Years ago when I struggled with my daughter, I felt so alone - and it was such a hush hush mentality. We were all so determined to prove our kids were nearly perfect! Oh, so smart and athletic or gifted and talented in some way. In today's generation of raising children it is become more challenging.


Here are a few Blogs on Parenting that could help you help your child:


Van's Mom - Exploring and dealing with an ADHD and ODD daughter.


Tangerine Times - Myrna's parenting tips on the sweet and sour times of teens.


Phil's Blog - Why physical education is so critical to children today in highly techy times.


Inhalant Abuse Blog - Parents educate other parents on the dangers of many home products.

Love Our Children Blog - Helping keep today's children safe.


Sarah Maria's Blog - Learning to increase your self image to make better choices. (For parents and teens!)


Lori Hanson's Blog - Holistic solutions for a eating disorders.

ADD/ADHD Blog - ADDitude Magazine offers many parent Blogs on ADD/ADHD and more.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Parenting ADD/ADHD

Source: ADDitude Magazine

John’s mom came to his session in tears. “What can I do about the horrible mood that John is in every day after school?” Children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) often experience emotions more intensely than their peers, and can become overwhelmed by sadness or worry. Depression and anxiety, which are primarily disorders of mood regulation, commonly coexist with the symptoms of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.

Some children need medical intervention to combat depression or anxiety, so it’s important to consult with your child’s doctor. But most children can be taught to regulate their bad moods and ADHD behavior problems with some simple cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques. CBT is a form of therapy that teaches people how to control their moods or behavior by changing their thought patterns. Here are some of the methods I taught John and his parents to help him feel in charge of, rather than controlled by, his “mood monsters”.

Make the moods visible.

Children often experience anxiety as a sense of dread. Maybe your child is terribly afraid of going to her room alone. When you ask why, she answers, “I don’t know.” Ask your child to draw a picture of what her bad feelings look like, and give a form to her anxiety. Having an image of the “monster” makes it easier to fight it off.

Give feelings a name.

Labeling depression, anxiety, or other feelings can make them easier to manage, too. Practice identifying feelings and facial expressions. (Try the “How Are You Feeling Today?” poster at childtherapytoys.com.) Take turns with your child, pointing to faces that look “Mad,” “Excited,” “Sad,” or “Worried,” and describing a time when each of you experienced such a feeling. This exercise reminds kids that grown-ups have different types of feelings, too, and that they learn to master them.

Chase away bad feelings.

Relaxation, breathing techniques, and visual imagery can help kids fight off depression and anxiety. Practice these in the evenings (they’ll also help your child unwind before bedtime). Once he’s mastered a calming technique, he can use it to stop a bad feeling in its tracks.

Relax: Have your child lie down and focus on and relax one body part at a time—hands, arms, chest—until his entire body is calm and anxious feelings have been crowded out.

Breathe: Teach your child to breathe in deeply, count from one to three, then breathe out. As breathing slows, the body becomes more relaxed. If your child focuses on each breath, he won’t be able to focus on the bad thoughts, moving them from the center of his attention.

Visualize: Ask your child to think about happy times or a good feeling. One boy I worked with would imagine himself “being licked by a whole bunch of puppies.” Another child pictured walking through a cool forest. If your child is fearful of a particular situation, such as a test, he should picture himself successfully completing the test.

Practice what you teach.

When children see their parents taking a deep breath or talking about feelings, they adopt such techniques more readily to fight off mood monsters. Help your child learn to calm himself, rather than feed his worry: “I know we can find a way to make this better for you. How should we solve this?” Chances are, your confidence will inspire him to find a solution.
Read more here.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Sue Scheff: Stop Bullying Today




Bullying is a problem that affects millions of students of all races and classes. 1 out of 4 kids is bullied and 42% of kids have been bullied while online. Child and teen Bullying and Cyberbullying are at an all-time high. Some kids are so tormented that suicide has become an alternative for them. It has everyone worried. Not just the kids on its receiving end, but the parents, teachers and others who may not understand how extreme bullying can get. Love Our Children USA is working aggressively to prevent these issues and to help the kids and teens affected by it.

What Is Bullying?

Bullying is when someone hurts or scares another person repeatedly and is never appropriate. The innocent one being bullied feels alone, depressed and scared and feels they have nowhere to turn.


Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - The Defiant Child




ADHD behavior issues often partner with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) -- making discipline a challenge. Try these strategies for parents of ADD kids.


Every parent of a child with attention deficit disorder knows what it's like to deal with ADHD behavior problems -- sometimes a child lashes out or refuses to comply with even the most benign request. But about half of all parents who have children with live with severe behavior problems and discipline challenges on an almost daily basis.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Sue Scheff: Top 10 Routine Builders: Organization Help for ADHD Children

Source: ADDitude Magazine

Create better structure with our organization help for children with ADHD.
by Peter Jaksa, Ph.D.

Need organization help? Follow our checklist to create routines that help your child grow and learn.

1. Give specific instructions. "Put away the toys on your carpet on the shelf in the closet." Be consistent — if the toys are stored on the shelf one night, they should be put there every night. Children need to know precisely what you expect.
2. Assign tasks that your child is capable of doing on his own. Success builds confidence. The goal is to teach your child to do things independently.
3. Involve your child in discussions about rules and routines. It will help him understand goals and teach him to accept responsibility.
4. Write down routines as sequences of tasks (two to five items only), and post where easily visible (refrigerator, bathroom mirror). Review lists regularly with your child.
5. Be realistic about time. Make sure you've set aside enough time for the child to complete his homework, clear the dishes, and get out the door in the morning. If the original time frame is leaving you five minutes shy, add five minutes.
6. Expect gradual improvement. It takes time to change old habits and form new ones.
7. Praise effort — not just results. If your child set the table but forgot napkins, acknowledge that she's trying. Reward good behavior more often than you punish bad.
8. Allow for free time in daily routines. Kids — and adults — need downtime.
9. If your child isn't taking to the routine, seek help from a counselor who specializes in ADHD. A pro can help get you on track.
10. Stay focused on the long-term goals. Above all, don't give up!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Sue Scheff - Teen Eating Disorders


As the holidays are here, parents should be aware of their teens and tweens concerns with body image. Today’s peer pressure compounded with Internet Images of what a teen should look like, can add stress and frustration to a young teen (both girls and boys).
Eating Disorders can sometimes be hard to recognize. As a parent, it is important to be informed and know the warning signs.


Here is a great article from Connect with Kids from this week’s parenting articles and tips:


“I would never want to look at one. I think that would be really depressing to tell you the truth.”
– Mary Hardin, 14 years old


What Mary doesn’t want to see, to millions others is just a few key words and mouse clicks away.
“Who’s the skinniest and how can they stay the skinniest (or) here’s how you can have only one thing to eat all day or how you can survive on water and gum,” explains Bryna Livingston, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in eating disorders.


Livingston is referring to pro-anorexia websites – where girls are applauded for losing weight and surviving hunger – that are emerging on the Internet. On many such sites, anorexics journal thoughts and feelings and even post pictures of their thin celebrity idols.


“It’s a pseudo-support group, and the problem is you’re not really getting support,” says Livingston. “You’re feeding a competition. You’re feeding a disease, and you’re feeding what you want to hear so you don’t have to make any changes.”


For Mary Hardin, change was hard. She struggled with anorexia for three years. These websites, she says, spell danger. “I think (the websites) could have really made me worse and (made me) fall more into my eating disorder and encouraged me more,” she says. “That’s the last thing I needed was to be encouraged to be in an eating disorder.”


Experts say parents of anorexics have to show tough love, especially if their child is being enticed by these Internet sites. “I’d turn off the computer. I’d get it out of the house,” says Livingston.
Mary’s advice: “Listen to who you trust. Do you trust your family and your friends, or do you trust these people (on the Internet) that you don’t even know that are trying to give you lessons about your life?”


Luckily, Mary avoided the lure of anorexia websites when she was struggling with her illness. After years of therapy and family support, she says she is now healed. “It is possible to recover and to be a healthy girl with a happy life after it all,” she says. “There is hope to get through it.”

Tips for Parents


Many dangerous places exist in cyberspace, especially for those with body image difficulties. A quick, easy Google search can produce a long list of pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia websites – places where those who suffer from eating disorders (ED) support each other and establish a sense of community. There are at least 100 active pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia sites. Some statistics state that several of these sites have accumulated tens of thousands of hits. Many sites treat eating disorders as lifestyle choices, rather than the illnesses they truly are. Most personify anorexia (“Ana”) and bulimia (“Mia”) into companions – individuals one can look to for guidance and strength.


The medical community classifies eating disorders as mental illnesses. Experts say girls with eating disorders focus on their bodies in a misguided bid to resolve deeper psychological issues, believing that they can fix their inner troubles by achieving a perfect outside. Eating disorder specialists say pro-anorexia sites are particularly dangerous since those suffering from the disease are usually in deep denial and cling to the illness to avoid dealing with its psychological underpinnings. Websites that glorify eating disorders make treatment increasingly difficult.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.


There are an estimated 7 million females and 1 million males suffering from eating disorders in the United States.


The Harvard Eating Disorders Center estimates that 3 percent of adolescent women and girls have anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorders.


Four-of-five 13-year-old girls have attempted to lose weight.


One study showed that 42 percent of first- through third-grade girls want to be thinner.


About 1 percent of females between 10 and 20 have anorexia nervosa. Between 2 percent and 3 percent of young women develop bulimia nervosa. Almost half of all anorexics will develop bulimia or bulimic patterns.Without treatment, up to 20 percent of people with serious eating disorders die. With treatment, the mortality rate falls to 2 to 3 percent. The recovery rate with treatment is about 60 percent. Alas, only 10 percent of those with eating disorders receive treatment.
Pro-ED sites are just one reason why parents need to monitor children’s online behavior. In the web journals or logs (blogs) of these sites, users share near-starvation diets, offer tips for coping with hunger and detail ways to avoid the suspicions of family members.


They post “thinspiration” – images from the media of their ideal celebrities, such as supermodel Kate Moss and the Olsen twins. They discuss extreme calorie restriction and weight loss through laxatives, diet pills and purging (self-induced vomiting).


Between the ages of 8 and 14, females naturally gain at least 40 pounds.


More than half of teenage girls are – or think they should be – on diets.


Websites were changing the very culture surrounding eating disorders, making them more acceptable to girls on and off the Internet.


Pro-ED sites thrive off the denial aspect of the illnesses while promoting the perceived benefits of having an eating disorder.

References


Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.
Harvard Eating Disorders Center
The National Institute of Mental Health
Reuters
Socialist Voice of Women
South Carolina Department of Mental Health


I also recommend you visit a survivor of Eating Disorders, Lori Hanson’s website at http://www.lori-hanson.com/ and check out her book, It All Started with Pop-Tarts.