Sue Scheff: ADD/ADHD - To Medicate or not to Medicate

Here is an interesting article that many parents with kids that are diagnosed with ADD/ADHD struggle with. As a mother of an ADHD child (now a young adult), after trying other alternatives, medication was the path that worked for us. By the time my son was in his Freshman year of College, he no longer was taking the medication. I know each child is different and I also know the feeling of wanting to help our kids when they are struggling. I think one of the largest misconceptions I get from parents today is that ADD/ADHD kids are less intelligent than a child without ADD/ADHD. My son has a very high IQ – however he couldn’t focus long enough to use it – until we decided on medication. Did I mention he had a full academic ride in a private college? Yes, ADD/ADHD children are very intelligent. (O-kay, so I am a proud mom!)


To Medicate or to not Medicate

When dealing with a child with ADHD or ADD, it seems like the only sane choice for you as a parent is to put them on the various medications that have been emerging. While these do take care of the initial symptoms, they also serve to build a dependence on medication and alter the complete mood of your child so that you are unaware where their personality went sometimes. With the increase in medicinal findings relating to such disorders, more and more parents are opting to put their children on various medications that are meant to relieve symptoms but can produce unwanted side effects.

Dealing with a teenager is rough enough as it is, but dealing with one with ADHD or any other behavioral disorder amplifies this time by 10. Additionally, the number of cases has increased drastically over the years, which reveals not only an influx of cases but an increase in medication as well. This in turn has led many to believe that this is not a “true” disorder and is an easy “cop-out” for parents with unruly children to find some way to calm them down. Furthermore, more and more college students are also claiming to have related disorders in order to get the medication and special help throughout classes. Ritalin and Adderall are in high demand throughout college campuses and serve to allow students to focus on their papers and assignments better. Encouraging this type of dependence from such a young age is detrimental for the health of these children and can serve to become a debilitating addiction. What happens when the children are adults and go off medication? Will they be able to focus on their life after this point or will they continually need to self-medicate?

Deciding whether or not to put your child on similar medications is a hard decision for any parent, but the recent findings relating disparaging remarks about medication are not entirely helpful for parents considering the option. For many of these parents, medication seems to be the last viable option, while many health care professionals believe that these behavioral disorders are becoming overdiagnosed around the country. While most children are prescribed medication in order to make them “normal”, many doctors have argued that no one has talked about the moral equivalent of medication: better parenting and more appropriate schooling. While it is unfair to blame the parents for this type of behavior condition, it remains apparent that the diagnosis is becoming increasingly popular among health care professionals and schools have yet to really revitalize their efforts to deal with students who suffer from this inability to focus on their work. Only a decade ago, few children were diagnosed with such a disorder; many were just assumed to not care about school. However, present day schooling has indicated that teachers need to recognize this type of behavior as a condition that can be treated with medication, not with increased supervision. In severe cases, medication may be the best option, but overall in the thousands of cases around the country, simply increased discipline on the child should serve to help their overall concentration. Behavioral conditions should not blossom in this way overnight out of little substance.

This post was contributed by Sarah Russel, who writes about the top rated colleges. She welcomes your feedback at SarahRussel1234 at gmail.com

Sue Scheff: KidsHealth - Parenting Today

Welcome to KidsHealth!If you're looking for information you can trust about kids and teens that's free of "doctor speak," you've come to the right place. KidsHealth is the most-visited site on the Web for information about health, behavior, and development from before birth through the teen years.On a typical weekday, more than 500,000 people visit KidsHealth.One of the things that makes KidsHealth special is that it's really three sites in one: with sections for parents, for kids, and for teens.

KidsHealth is more than just the facts about health. As part of The Nemours Foundation's Center for Children's Health Media, KidsHealth also provides families with perspective, advice, and comfort about a wide range of physical, emotional, and behavioral issues that affect children and teens.To do this, our editorial staff communicates complex medical information in language that readers can understand and use. And all KidsHealth articles, animations, games, and other content go through a rigorous medical review by pediatricians and other medical experts. Ongoing, scheduled medical reviews ensure the information is as up-to-date as possible.

Along the way, KidsHealth has received its share of recognition — among them, four Webby Awards, including for Best Family/Parenting Site and Best Health Site on the Web, the Parent's Choice Gold Award, the Teacher's Choice Award for Family, and the International Pirelli Award for best educational media for students.KidsHealth cannot take the place of an in-person visit with a doctor, who can perform examinations and answer questions. But we can provide unbiased, reliable information to help you and your family pursue good health and wellness for a lifetime.

Nemours Center for Children's Health MediaThe Nemours Center for Children's Health Media is a part of The Nemours Foundation, a nonprofit organization created by philanthropist Alfred I. duPont in 1936 and devoted to improving the health of children.The pediatrician-led Center is unique in the nation with its exclusive focus on children's health media — and offers a post-residency fellowship for physicians seeking to further develop their skills in health communications.

Our recent projects include The Pink Locker Society, a novel that aims to educate and entertain preteen girls; and the Healthy Habits for Life Resource Kit, a DVD and 100-page booklet — produced in collaboration with Sesame Workshop — that helps preschool teachers incorporate healthy physical activity and nutrition habits into everyday routines. We also created Fit Kids, published worldwide by Dorling Kindersley, an illustrated book to help parents keep their kids and teens eating healthy and active.

Licensable Health Information and Media Inquiries

The Center also creates children's health information for licensed use by hospitals and corporations. Our business development team welcomes inquiries from organizations regarding collaborative or licensing projects. Requests from the media for interviews with KidsHealth experts are welcome. For permission to reprint or link to KidsHealth content, see our Permissions Guidelines.

Sponsorship OpportunitiesKidsHealth offers a variety of sponsorship opportunities on KidsHealth.org; KidsHealth in the Classroom; in our weekly e-newsletters; and through offline initiatives, video, and other means.

Sponsorship revenue is used to support the development of KidsHealth educational programs. We welcome you to join us in supporting families.Tell Us What You ThinkWe depend on you — and our millions of other visitors — to let us know your thoughts about KidsHealth, how we have been helpful, and ways we can improve the site.

If you have a correction to request, please send that along, too. I guarantee we'll listen.Editor-in-Chief and Founder, KidsHealthChief Executive, Nemours Center for Children's Health MediaNemours Foundation comments@KidsHealth.org

Sue Scheff: Aniexty Disorders and Teens

Is ADHD causing your child's anxiety? Or could an anxiety disorder be to blame? Symptom and treatment information.

Free ADHD handout from ADDitude Magazine

Moderate anxiety - when taking a test or performing in a school play - is normal and healthy. But if your child's anxiety is more severe and commonplace, you may fear that an anxiety disorder is to blame. ADDitude has made it easier to understand anxiety with this quick comparison sheet that will help you understand the symptoms and treatment of anxiety disorder vs. ADHD. Contents include...

Common symptoms of anxiety disorder in childrenAn explanation of primary vs. secondary anxiety in children with ADHDEffective treatment options for children with primary or secondary anxiety

Get your Free Download Here: http://www.additudemag.com/RCLP/sub/5435.html

Sue Scheff: Connect with your Teens through Pop Culture and Technology

I was forwarded this fantastic website/Blog that can has some really great information on today’s teens through pop-culture! Learning about today’s trends, hot items, great books and more!

Visit: http://connectwithyourteens.blogspot.com/ and see what Jennifer is talking about today!

Sue Scheff: Tips for Teens and Summer Jobs

Here are 10 tips about where to look and how to act on job interviews

Source: Parenting Today

By Laura T. Coffey

Even in the best of times, teenagers face plenty of hurdles when they look for summer jobs. Would-be employers often worry that they’ll be undependable, late and generally flaky — and teens must convince prospective bosses that they’re actually reliable and responsible.
This summer could be even tougher for teens, though, because competition for jobs is expected to be so fierce. In many cases, teenagers will be going head to head against adults who have years of work experience behind them. And they’ll be doing so in a job market that has fewer positions available.

A recent survey by SnagAJob.com, an employment Web site that connects people with hourly jobs, found that nearly half of hourly hiring managers won’t be recruiting summer employees this year. Even more ominous, 73 percent of hiring managers anticipate receiving more applications this summer than they did last summer from job-seekers of all ages.

Does this mean that teens should abandon all hope of finding gainful employment this summer? Not at all! The following tips can help.

1. Start looking now. Shawn Boyer, chief executive officer of SnagAJob.com, said employers are already thinking about their upcoming summer staffing issues, even though we’re only in the month of April. One way to beat out at least some of the competition is to start your job search early rather than waiting for the school year to end. “Consider telling them, ‘I can work 10 hours a week now, and then I can ramp up my hours after school gets out,’ ” Boyer said.
2. Get the word out about your job search. Begin actively telling people that you’re looking for a job. Think about all the adults in your life: your teachers, guidance counselors and coaches, your family doctor and veterinarian, your parents’ friends, your friends’ parents, and so on. This approach could turn you on to job prospects.

3. Plan for a repeat performance. The survey of more than 1,000 hiring managers revealed that 65 percent of their summer staffs will consist of returning workers. If you had a job last summer and you didn’t absolutely hate it, consider reapplying again this year. Your past employer will be interested in you because you’re already trained.

4. Be professional. Make sure that everything you include in your job application is spelled correctly and is free of grammatical errors. Don’t use all lowercase or all uppercase letters, Boyer advised. Be sure the e-mail address you put down isn’t silly or distracting. The same holds true for the voice-mail prompt on your cell phone or home phone.

5. Do mock interviews in advance. A job interview can be a lot more stressful than you might think. To work out the jitters ahead of time, do a few practice interviews with someone other than a friend or parent, Boyer recommended. “Practice with a guidance counselor, a teacher or a friend’s parent that you’re not that comfortable with so it will be more realistic,” Boyer said.

6. Show some energy. Employers who bring teenagers on board say they appreciate their enthusiasm and eagerness to do whatever it takes to get a job done. Display those traits on your job interview — and on the job, as well.

7. Get appropriately gussied. Dress nicely for your job interview, as if you were about to attend a religious service. Do this even if the dress code for employees is casual. Absolutely remember to send a handwritten thank you note after your interview — a step many adults routinely forget to take.

8. Play up your strengths. Many teens show a tendency to be hard on themselves and minimize their accomplishments. Remember that a job interview is not the place to beat yourself up. Instead, emphasize flattering details about yourself, such as being an honor-roll student, juggling extracurricular activities and volunteering in the community. “List out in particular the leadership positions that you’ve held,” Boyer said. “That helps to dispel the idea that teens aren’t responsible.”

9. Know where to look. As bleak as the job market is right now, Boyer said these places that are still open to hiring teens: fast-food restaurants; movie theaters; merchandising companies that stock shelves for retailers — American Greetings is looking for this sort of help, he noted — and health-care facilities. “There are a wide range of positions in the health-care sector that don’t require you to have a certain level of credentials,” Boyer said. “There’s valet-parking people’s cars, working in a hospital gift shop, working in a cafeteria, being a receptionist.”

10. Consider working at a bank. If you’re at least 18, you also may be able to land a job as a bank teller. Banks often need help over the summer months when many of their employees go on vacation, Boyer said — and he added that a bank job can look good on your resume.

Sources and resources:

SnagAJob.com
Youth2Work.gov, the U.S. Labor Department’s Web site for teens
Occupational Safety and Health Administration

Sue Scheff: Teenage Back Acne Treatment

By Johanna Curtis

Back Acne Treatment Helps Teens with Self Esteem Issues

As parents we are all aware at how fragile a teenager’s self esteem can be sometimes. Hormones at the onset of puberty don’t do much to help with that. As hormones rage, often times so does acne. Acne occurs frequently in teenagers to varying degrees and typically occurs on the face and back. For active teenagers, this can be a cause of embarrassment. But back acne treatment can do wonders in alleviating the self esteem issues caused by excessive acne on the back.

Teenage boys are often active in sports and have to deal with their peers in the locker rooms and while competing. Having back acne can be highly embarrassing and make someone feel self conscious. Teenage girls have an equal number of problems pertaining to back acne. Imagine getting ready for a high school dance, picking out a fashionable dress and being appalled by the back acne that is visible. Of course, acne in general is something that all teenagers go through to some extent. But we do want our kids to be confident and healthy so it is important to understand the causes of back acne as well as the cures for back acne.

If a teenager is embarrassed by their back acne, they will have a tendency to avoid situations where it may be visible. This can be really unhealthy for a teenager. Avoiding sporting events, social activities and friends can lead to depression. But there is good news regarding the causes of back acne. We know what causes are real and what are myths. Because of this, we also know ways in which back acne treatment can benefit the self conscious teenager.

Amazingly, many people still buy into the myths associates with the causes of back acne. We know, though that food, clothing, dirt and sweat do not cause acne. In some cases one or all of those issues may exacerbate acne to a small degree but none of them actually cause it. So, in order to effectively find cures for back acne, the root cause of it should be examined and there is basically one main cause of acne in the face, back and body.

The culprit is hormones. Yes, a hormonal imbalance is the reason the skin breaks out and why so many teenagers are afflicted with acne problems. So in order to treat it, two things must occur: The hormonal imbalance must be addressed and a proper skin care regimen must be started. The truth is both of these issues can be controlled with skin care products, diet and vitamins.

With back acne Retin A is often used and touted as a cure. However, many Retin A products are very expensive and often do not cure the back acne completely. High cost advertising programs are what draw consumers to these products and while some may work, they are not addressing the complete picture so they can not stop the back acne from occurring.

Instead, there are a few products that are recommended because of the testing that was conducted and the means to which a complete system of hormonal cures as well as skin care treatments are used. The reason they work is that they address back acne from the inside out and do not leave anything out of the picture.

There are many products on the market today but often the reason they are popular is due to expensive advertising campaigns as opposed to actual positive results. It is important to start off with a topical treatment to clean the skin and protect it. These may include a body wash, body cream and scrubs. Getting into the habit of cleaning the face regularly will instill a sense of responsibility and self respect in a teenager also.

Not only should the topical skin treatment be addressed but the hormonal imbalance should also be treated with natural supplements. The hormonal imbalance is addressed with the use of the supplements and acne issues are washed away with the topical products. The results include fewer blemishes and a restored balance to the hormones. This allows the skin to naturally go back to its intended condition, free from acne.

Choose products that are independently tested and rated for its effectiveness in treating back acne. Also choose all inclusive solutions. They all have one thing in common. They each address all the issues regarding back acne and its root cause. They provide a topical acne wash and cream to help maintain the skin’s appearance but they also include a dietary supplement intended to help restore the proper hormonal balance.

Hormonal imbalances can go well into adulthood but teenagers are especially prone to it. Back acne can be embarrassing and can greatly affect a teenager’s self esteem. However, with proper treatment, the self consciousness from back acne can be eliminated. Your teenager can be confident knowing he or she is acne free.

Sue Scheff: Preventing Hazing

Dr. Susan Lipkins is a leading expert on preventing hazing and helping people understand the dangers of this type of violence. After watching her on What Would You Do last night, I was shocked at how some people felt this behavior was amusing. I think parents need to learn more about this horrible behavior and learn how it can potentially effect someone you love.

Visit Dr. Susan Lipkins website and learn more.

Visit the warning signs here.

What is Hazing? Source: Inside Hazing

What: The Basics

WHAT IS HAZING?

Hazing is a process, based on a tradition that is used by groups to discipline and to maintain a hierarchy (i.e., a pecking order). Regardless of consent, the rituals require individuals to engage in activities that are physically and psychologically stressful.
These activities can be humiliating, demeaning, intimidating, and exhausting, all of which results in physical and/or emotional discomfort. Hazing is about group dynamics and proving one's worthiness to become a member of the specific group.

Sue Scheff: Teenage Acne and Your Teen's Self Esteem

Johanna Curtis is a licensed skin care professional and has written articles on how teen acne can affect a teens self esteem and more importantly how she can help. Visit http://www.teenage-acne.net/ for more great informational articles, Blogs, and her suggestions to help you help your teen look and feel their best. Building self esteem can help your teen make better choices.

Source: Johanna Curtis

95% of teenagers in American suffer from acne. The effects of this common problem can be truly devastating. It isn’t just the scars that are left by a bad case of teenage acne; there are many emotional effects as well. Some of which can follow you for life!

Whether it’s right or wrong, we teach our children that the way we look matters. With this societal dogma come many issues when, as a teen, you cannot look your best. With the blemishes that come with acne, many teens experience self esteem issues. These issues may range from being mildly self-conscious to a complete withdrawal from the world. There are actually many emotional issues that come from our need to look our best combined with a case of acne.
Some of the more common issues that result from teenage acne include:

Reduced Self-Confidence
Social Dysfunction
Frustration
Poor Self Image
Embarrassment
Clinical Depression
Problems with Anxiety
Facial Scaring

The reality of it is that even a mild case of acne can greatly affect the way you live. A few simple blemishes can leave you feeling completely self conscious. For those with more severe cases, they often face ridicule which leads to shame and embarrassment.

With all of this it brings us to the main question: What can be done for teenage acne? Luckily there is an answer. A teenage acne solution that will work where other teen acne medications have failed! Before we talk about the real solution, let’s talk about traditional acne treatments. Likely you have tried some of these products, and it’s very likely you found that they simply didn’t perform to your expectations.

Sue Scheff: Mom Blogs - Parenting Teens

Recently I am noticing more and more parents are stepping up and talking about their issues, concerns, frustrations as well as sharing ideas and tips they have used in raising their children. All in all, it is about parents helping parents.Years ago when I struggled with my daughter, I felt so alone - and it was such a hush hush mentality. We were all so determined to prove our kids were nearly perfect! Oh, so smart and athletic or gifted and talented in some way. In today's generation of raising children it is become more challenging.

Here are a few Blogs on Parenting that could help you help your child:

Van's Mom - Exploring and dealing with an ADHD and ODD daughter.

Tangerine Times - Myrna's parenting tips on the sweet and sour times of teens.

Phil's Blog - Why physical education is so critical to children today in highly techy times.

Inhalant Abuse Blog - Parents educate other parents on the dangers of many home products.

Love Our Children Blog - Helping keep today's children safe.

Sarah Maria's Blog - Learning to increase your self image to make better choices. (For parents and teens!)

Lori Hanson's Blog - Holistic solutions for a eating disorders.

ADD/ADHD Blog - ADDitude Magazine offers many parent Blogs on ADD/ADHD and more.

Sue Scheff: Top 10 Routine Builders: Organization Help for ADHD Children

Source: ADDitude Magazine

Create better structure with our organization help for children with ADHD.
by Peter Jaksa, Ph.D.

Need organization help? Follow our checklist to create routines that help your child grow and learn.

1. Give specific instructions. "Put away the toys on your carpet on the shelf in the closet." Be consistent — if the toys are stored on the shelf one night, they should be put there every night. Children need to know precisely what you expect.
2. Assign tasks that your child is capable of doing on his own. Success builds confidence. The goal is to teach your child to do things independently.
3. Involve your child in discussions about rules and routines. It will help him understand goals and teach him to accept responsibility.
4. Write down routines as sequences of tasks (two to five items only), and post where easily visible (refrigerator, bathroom mirror). Review lists regularly with your child.
5. Be realistic about time. Make sure you've set aside enough time for the child to complete his homework, clear the dishes, and get out the door in the morning. If the original time frame is leaving you five minutes shy, add five minutes.
6. Expect gradual improvement. It takes time to change old habits and form new ones.
7. Praise effort — not just results. If your child set the table but forgot napkins, acknowledge that she's trying. Reward good behavior more often than you punish bad.
8. Allow for free time in daily routines. Kids — and adults — need downtime.
9. If your child isn't taking to the routine, seek help from a counselor who specializes in ADHD. A pro can help get you on track.
10. Stay focused on the long-term goals. Above all, don't give up!

Sue Scheff - Teen Sex, Social Networking and Parenting

The news today? Teens floating photo's of themselves in their birthday suits, well, more or less. It seems more and more teens are not thinking about the consequences of sending questionable photos through email, texting, social networks etc. Parents need to explain to their child that placing such pictures may potentially cause them "not" to be accepted at a college or not get a job. More and more college admissions offices and potential employee's are Surfing the Net to find out more information on applicants. What you post today, may haunt you tomorrow!

With all the discussions around the nude pictures - it brings up another concern - does this mean your teen is being recognized as a sex object? Does it say he or she is "easy"?

Many people will ask, "where are the parents?", however it is almost impossible to monitor your teen 24/7, especially Online. As parents and adults everywhere, we need to tell our kids how this can harm them in the future. Their BFF today - may be their enemy next summer! Then where will those photos end up?

Keep informed - stay up to date with information for parents and teens.

Visit The National Campaign to Help Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Sue Scheff: Parenting Difficult Teens

It stems back to “children need to have their self-esteem built up to make good decisions.” Today most families are either single parent or both parents are working full time. This is not the fault of the teen, nor is it the fault of the parents. It is today’s world and we must try to find the middle. Troubled teens, rebellious teens, angry teens, problem teens, difficult teens, peer pressure, depressed teens; unfortunately are part of the society of adolescents today.

Communication is always the first to go when people get busy. We have seen this over and over again. We have also experienced it and feel that our children shut us out; this can lead to difficult teens and teens with problems. Although we are tired and exhausted, along with the stress of today’s life, we need to stop and take a moment for our kids.

Talk and LISTEN to them. Ask lots of questions, get to know their friends and their friend’s parents, take part in their interests, be supportive if they are having a hard time, even if you can’t understand it; be there for them.This all sounds so easy and so simple, but take it from parents that have walked this path, it is not easy. When a parent works a full day, has stress from the job along with household chores, not to mention the bills, it is hard to find that moment. We are all guilty of neglect at one time or another after all, we are only human and can only do so much. We feel the exhaustion mounting watching our teens grow more out of control, yet we are too tired to address it.

Out of control teens can completely disrupt a family and cause marriages to break up as well as emotional breakdowns.We know many feel it is just a stage, and with some, it may be. However most times it does escalate to where we are today. Researching for help; Parents’ Universal Resource Experts is here for you, as we have been where you are today.

Do you have a difficult teen, struggling teen, defiant teen, out of control teen, rebellious teen, angry teen, depressed teen? Do you feel hopeless, at your wits end?

Visit www.helpyourteens.com.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff - Teen Entitlement Issues

Does your teen have Entitlement Issues?

Does your teen expect more from you than they have earned or deserve?

Many parents only want the best for their children (usually more than they had growing up), but has this actually backfired on families?

In today’s society many teens have major entitlement issues. Many parents feel that giving their teen’s material items will somehow earn them respect. Quite frankly, the opposite occurs in most families. The more we give, the more our children expect and the less they respect us. We literally lose ourselves in buying our children’s love. At the end of the day, no one wins and life is a constant battle of anger, hopelessness, and debt.

While interviewing a young teen, she was recently given a new car – brand new – felt she deserved it since her parents gave her two used ones previously. She is only 17 years old and already controlling her household and believes she was entitled to this car. She shows no appreciation or respect to her parents. Simply, she deserved it. Can you imagine owning 3 cars by the age of 17, yet never buying one? This is an extreme example, but I am sure many parents can relate.

Entitlement issues can lead to serious problems. Teaching your child respect and responsibility should be priority. Although the issues may have started to escalate, as a parent, it is never too late to take control of the situation and say “no” when your teen feels they are entitled to a frivolous item or anything that is considered a privilege.

Life is about responsibility, as parents we need to teach our children responsibility – helping our children comes natural to us, however when it becomes excessive and the child doesn’t appreciate it, it is time to step back and evaluate your situation.


Learn more at www.helpyourteens.com.

Parents Universal Resource Experts - Sue Scheff: ADHD Parenting Tips

Source: ADDitude Magazine

ADHD Parenting Tips: Be Positive and Calm

What does my style of parenting look like? Let’s say your nine-year-old refuses to comply with a simple request, like “Please pick up your toys.” Don’t repeat your request. Don’t yell or threaten a time-out. Instead, respond with action — firm, calm, quiet, and dramatic.

For instance, you might begin placing the toys into a container. If the child asks what you’re doing, you can say that the toys will remain in your possession until she pays you a small sum or performs certain chores. Your floor will be free of clutter — and your child will be more likely to comply next time.

Read entire article: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1879.html

Sue Scheff: Parent-Teen Sex Talk

Source: Connect with Kids

“I always get a little bit nervous because I always worry about what they might ask me about my own life.”
– Judy Crim, Mother

When 12-year-old Sean Crim has a question about sex he asks his mother. “I would probably rather get information about sex from my parents. They always tell me the truth and they’ve never really lied to me about anything,” he says.

But for his mom, talking about sex isn’t easy. “I always get a little bit nervous because I always worry about what they might ask me about my own life,” says Judy Crim.

It’s an issue for lots of parents. If your children ask about your life before marriage, how would you answer? Sean’s mom says it’s happened to her.

Judy says, “We talk about what was going on when I was a teenager, what teenagers were actively doing. And they’ll say mom did you do any of that?”

It’s an awkward question. Experts say if you are too uncomfortable…you don’t have to answer.
Leola Reis of Planned Parenthood says, “They are still the parent and some of that is not really appropriate. I don’t think you need to lie, I think you can withhold that information. ‘This conversation is not really about me and what I did. It’s what my hopes are for you. And let me tell you some of the things I’ve learned.’”
But if you decide to talk about your past, experts say don’t lie, and remember that you don’t have to say too much. Reis suggests sentences like ”I’m not really comfortable with some of the things I did as a young person.’”

Still, your past can be a lesson for kids about avoiding mistakes. Judy Crim says, “I can also offer them if I made a choice to do something, what regret did I have to live with? What guilt do I have to live with? And how did that affect my life?”

Tips for Parents

Recent studies have shown a decrease in the prevalence of many sexual behaviors among high school students throughout the United States, including sexual intercourse. Further, studies from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show the percentage of sexually active students who used a condom at last intercourse continued to increase.

Even though the number of sexually active teens is in decline, the percentage of sexually active teens is still alarming. Consider the following statistics taken from a recent Youth Risk Behavior Survey:

Nationwide, 47.8% of students had ever had sexual intercourse (Table 61). Overall, the prevalence of having had sexual intercourse was higher among male (49.8%) than female (45.9%) students; higher among black male (72.6%) and Hispanic male (58.2%) than black female (60.9%) and Hispanic female (45.8%) students, respectively; and higher among 9th-grade male (38.1%) than 9th-grade female (27.4%) students.
7.1% of students had had sexual intercourse for the first time before age 13 years
14.9% of students had had sexual intercourse with four or more persons during their life
35.0% of students had had sexual intercourse with at least one person during the 3 months before the survey
Among the 35.0% of currently sexually active students nationwide, 61.5% reported that either they or their partner had used a condom during last sexual intercourse

Open communication and accurate information from parents increase the chance that teens will postpone sex. According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, in talking with your child or adolescent, it is helpful to:

Encourage your child to talk and ask questions.
Maintain a calm and non-critical atmosphere for discussions.
Use words that are understandable and comfortable.
Try to determine your child’s level of knowledge and understanding.
Keep your sense of humor and don’t be afraid to talk about your own discomfort.
Relate sex to love, intimacy, caring and respect for oneself and one’s partner.
Be open in sharing your values and concerns.
Discuss the importance of responsibility for choices and decisions.
Help your child to consider the pros and cons of choices.
By developing open, honest and ongoing communication about responsibility, sex and choice, parents can help their youngsters learn about sex in a healthy and positive manner.

References
Centers for Disease Control & Prevention
American Social Health Association
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

'Pharm' Drug and Teens

Street drugs, such as pot, crack, heroin, etc…. is being replaced with pharmacy drugs kids are finding at home. Parents need to take the time to see what their medicine cabinets are holding and what prescription drugs they have at home such as pain pills from ordinary root canals - as well as medications for ADD/ADHD. Here is a great article with helpful tips for parents.

Source: Connect with Kids

“Just take whatever we had you know, not really thinking about how high I was going to get or you know, how messed up.”

– ‘James’, age 21, explaining how he and friends shared drugs during his teenage years.

“We all had different prescriptions,” says 18-year-old Laura.

“You know, percocets, valium, zanex, oxycontin,” says James, 21.

“I wanted to get as loaded as I could. Didn’t care what I was taking, how much of it,” adds Laura.

James and Laura met in rehab. Both are drug addicts who used to get high at parties. Parties where everyone brought some kind of prescription drug and passed them around, often combining them with pot or alcohol.

“When I first started using and mixing drugs, I felt like a superhero, like nothing, you know, I was invincible,” says Laura.

Some kids call them ‘pharm’ parties… for ‘pharmaceutical’.

Experts say the allure is… the unknown. “What kind of new experience can I get? And very often it’s kids who are just bored of smoking pot day in and day out… cause they’ve reached a saturation point,” says Addiction Counselor Robert Margolis, Ph.D.

But experts say taking someone else’s prescription is dangerous… especially when combined with other drugs.

“There are combinations out there that if you start to mix together will create reaction in your body that by the time you know what’s happening, it’s too late,” Dr. Margolis.

“What I did notice is that I would black out a lot of nights,” says James.

Laura survived her years of drug years… but her addiction led to mood swings and depression that made her suicidal.

“Once I started getting heavily addicted, I tried overdosing several times, so I wanted to die, I didn’t want to live anymore,” she says.

“The risks are immense and the kids don’t realize that,” says Dr. Margolis, “And they’re everything from having a tremendous hangover to fatal.”


Tips for Parents
As a parent, it is important to understand that teens may be involved with legal and illegal drugs in various ways. The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) reports that many teens begin using drugs to satisfy their curiosity, to make themselves feel good, to reduce stress, to feel grown up or to “fit in.” While it is difficult to know which teens will experiment and stop and which will develop serious problems, the National Institute of Drug Abuse says the following types of teens are at greatest risk of becoming addicted:

Those who have a family history of substance abuse
Those who are depressed
Those who have low self-esteem
Those who feel like they don’t “fit in” or are out of the mainstream
Because the U.S. Food and Drug Administration puts its seal of approval on prescription drugs, many teens mistakenly believe that using these drugs – even if they are not prescribed to them – is safe. However, this practice can, in fact, lead to addiction and severe side effects. The Center for Drug Evaluation and Research cites the following most commonly abused prescription drugs:

Opioids – Also known as narcotic analgesics, opioids are used to treat pain. Examples of this type of drug include morphine, codeine, OxyContin (oxycodone), Vicodin (hydrocodone) and Demerol (meperidine). In the short term, these drugs block pain messages and cause drowsiness. A large, single dose can cause severe respiratory depression and death. Long-term use leads to physical dependence and, in some cases, addiction.
Central nervous system (CNS) depressants – These drugs are commonly used to treat anxiety, panic attacks and sleep disorders. Examples include Nembutal (pentobarbital sodium), Valium (diazepam) and Xanax (alprazolam). CNS depressants slow down normal brain function and can cause a sleepy, uncoordinated feeling in the beginning of treatment. Long-term use can lead to physical dependence and addiction.
Stimulants – These drugs are commonly used to treat the sleeping disorder narcolepsy and attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. Examples include Ritalin (methylphenidate) and Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine). Stimulants, which can be addictive, enhance brain activity and increase alertness and energy. They elevate blood pressure, heart rate and respiration. Very high doses can lead to irregular heartbeat and high body temperature
How can you determine if your teen is abusing drugs? The AACAP suggests looking for the following warning signs and symptoms in your teen:

Physical – Fatigue, repeated health complaints, red and glazed eyes and a lasting cough
Emotional – Personality change, sudden mood changes, irritability, irresponsible behavior, low self-esteem, poor judgment, depression and a general lack of interest
Familial – Starting arguments, breaking rules or withdrawing from the family
School-related – Decreased interest, negative attitude, drop in grades, many absences, truancy and discipline problems
Social – having new friends who are less interested in standard home and school activities, problems with the law and changes to less conventional styles in dress and music
If you believe your teen has a problem with drug abuse, you can take several steps to get the help he or she needs. The American Academy of Family Physicians suggests contacting your health-care provider so that he or she can perform an adequate medical evaluation in order to match the right treatment or intervention program with your teen. You can also contact a support group in your community dedicated to helping families coping with addiction.

Substance abuse can be an overwhelming issue with which to deal, but it doesn’t have to be. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America offers the following strategies to put into practice so that your teen can reap the rewards of a healthy, drug-free life:

Be your teen’s greatest fan. Compliment him or her on all of his or her efforts, strength of character and individuality.
Encourage your teen to get involved in adult-supervised after-school activities. Ask him or her what types of activities he or she is interested in and contact the school principal or guidance counselor to find out what activities are available. Sometimes it takes a bit of experimenting to find out which activities your teen is best suited for, but it’s worth the effort – feeling competent makes children much less likely to use drugs.
Help your teen develop tools he can use to get out of drug-related situations. Let him or her know he or she can use you as an excuse: “My mom would kill me if I smoked marijuana!”
Get to know your teen’s friends and their parents. Set appointments for yourself to call them and check-in to make sure they share your views on alcohol, tobacco and other drugs. Steer your teen away from any friends who use drugs.
Call teens’ parents if their home is to be used for a party. Make sure that the party will be drug-free and supervised by adults.
Set curfews and enforce them. Let your teen know the consequences of breaking curfew.
Set a no-use rule for alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.
Sit down for dinner with your teen at least once a week. Use the time to talk – don’t eat in front of the television.
Get – and stay – involved in your teen’s life.

References
Substance Abuse & Mental Human Services Administration
Drug Abuse Warning Network
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
National Institute on Drug Abuse
U.S. Food and Drug Administration
Center for Drug Evaluation and Research
American Academy of Family Physicians
Partnership for a Drug-Free America

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Peer Pressure

Peer Pressure leads to "Good Teens Making Bad Choices" which is very common today.

Teen Peer Pressure can be extremely damaging to a pre-teen or teen that is desperately trying to fit in somewhere – anywhere in their school. They are not sure what group they belong in, and those that are suffering with low self esteem can end up fitting more comfortably with the less than desirable peers. This can be the beginning of a downward spiral. When a child doesn’t have confidence of who they are or where they belong, it can lead to the place that is easiest to fit in – usually the not the best crowd.

Keeping your child involved in activities such as sports, music and school clubs can help give them a place where they belong. We always encourage parents to find the one thing that truly interests their child, whether it is a musical instrument, swimming, golf, diving, dance, chess club, drama, etc. It is important to find out what their interests are and help them build on it. Encourage them 100%. They don’t need to be the next Tiger Woods, but they need to enjoy what they are doing and keep busy doing it. Staying busy in a constructive way is always beneficial.

It is very common with many parents that contact us that their child has fallen into the wrong crowd and has become a follower rather than a leader. They are making bad choices, choices they know better however the fear of not fitting in with their friends sways them to make the wrong decisions. Low self esteem can attribute to this behavior, and if it has escalated to a point of dangerous situations such as legal issues, substance use, gang related activity, etc. it may be time to seek outside help. Remember, don’t be ashamed of this, it is very common today and you are not alone. So many parents believe others will think it is a reflection of their parenting skills, however with today’s society; the teen peer pressure is stronger than it ever has been. The Internet explosion combined with many teens Entitlement Issues has made today’s generation a difficult one to understand.

It is so important to find the right fit for your child if you are seeking residential treatment. We always encourage *local adolescent counseling prior to any Residential Treatment Programs or Boarding schools, however this is not always necessary. Many parents have an instinct when their child is heading the wrong direction. It is an intuition only a parent can detect. If something doesn't seem right, it usually isn't. If your gut is talking to you, you may want to listen or investigate what your child is doing. Parents need to understand that teen peer pressure can influence adolescents in negative ways. Do you know who your child’s friends are?

www.helpyourteens.com

Back to School Tips for Teens and Tweens - Source: OnTeensToday!

As the founder of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts and Parent Advocate, this is one of the busiest times of the year - whether you are getting your kids ready for school - or your young adults off to college!

www.OnTeensToday.com always keeps parents today updated on what is happening in today’s teen-hood - so take a peak a the great websites and articles to help you get ready for school 2008-2009!

Courtesy of Vanessa Van Petten - www.onteenstoday.com
Some Back-to-School Favorites

Cramster.com Get help with your homework. Be ready for your exams–I like this website!

Why Bad Grades Happen to Good Kids by Linda Bress Silbert and Alvin Silbert I think so many parents and kids are so scared of bad grades and feel it is reflection of them as a person. I like this message that grades are important, but they do not define you.

Alana’s Advice…When There’s A Clique, You’ve Got to Think Quick by Alexandra Sabina Bender Cliques and mean girls are becoming ever more powerful with the advent of the Internet and social networks, this is a great primer for parents and girls.

6 Questions to Motivate Your Kids Before School

I [Vanessa Van Petten] wrote this guest post for Joe Bruzzese’s blog the Middle School Parent Resource.

Here is a sneak peek:

“Ughhhhh, do we have to practice getting up early?” Before school every year my parents decided to torture themselves and us by making us ‘practice getting up early for school’ the last week of summer. This always seemed like the absolute cruelest thing to do—talk about ruining the end of summer.

Now, as a 23-year-old looking back, I understand where they were coming from. They wanted us to get our bodies in the habit of the school schedule so we were not as cranky and going back would not be such a shock.

I am currently working with hundreds of families, plus the emails I get from parent readers on my blog about what they can do to help their kids have a smooth transition and maximize summer time to make the year a successful one. The second point here is what is crucial to me, there are a few things I wish my parents had done the few weeks before school started to prepare me for the school year.

What is a (good) Goal?

Everyone’s definition is different, talk to your kids about what they think goals are and goals they have had in the past, that have worked or not. Explain that ‘good’ goals are:

-Quantifiable (You can measure their success or not)
-Reasonable (They can be reached and are attainable)
-Specific (They deal with a certain area…big goals can be broken down into smaller ones)
-Exciting (Remember these are your kid’s goals, not yours, make sure they are motivated to achieve them or you are setting them up for failure)

Read the rest here!

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Online Learning

Source: Connect with Kids

“Make time for [exercise] because once you get out of it, it’s so hard to get back in.”

– Tori, 16 years old

They run and play and participate in all sorts of sports. But what happens when little kids become teens?

“After a while, you just become like a couch potato,” says Tori, 16.

When she was a cheerleader in middle school, Tori got plenty of exercise. Now she’s 16, and she admits she hasn’t exercised regularly in years.

“I’m not physically fit,” she says. “I mean, I’m skinny, but I guess it’s just because I have a fast metabolism. But physically fit? Noooo!”

A study in the Journal of the American Medical Association followed more than one thousand children aged 9 to 15.

97% were active when they were 9-years-old, but by the time they were 15, only 31% of teens were meeting the recommended sixty minutes of vigorous physical activity during the week. And only 17% met that target on the weekend.

The older they got, the less they exercised!

Experts speculate, for some it’s just laziness, for other, interests change, or they’re simply too busy.

Tori agrees: “School starts to get harder, and you get more homework, and you want to spend more time with your friends and you need more sleep.”

Still, experts warn that teens must find a way to remain active otherwise they risk becoming obese or sick later in life. Parents can help by getting involved in activities with their children.

“Whether it’s running and pulling a kite in the wind or going out throwing a Frisbee or going for a walk with your dog, if you incorporate those things, you’re just gonna have a better quality of life,” says Jon Crosby, an Atlanta-based sports and fitness trainer.

Tori’s advice to fellow teens: “Make time for [exercise] because once you get out of it, it’s so hard to get back in.”

Tips for Parents

Many studies have found similar results to the UC- San Diego study. University of Pittsburgh researchers report that as girls age, they increasingly get less and less exercise. In their study, published in The New England Journal of Medicine, the researchers evaluated the exercise habits of 1,213 black girls and 1,166 white girls for 10 years, beginning at age 9 or 10. By the time the girls were 16 or 17, nearly 56% of the black girls and nearly 31% of the white girls reported no regular exercise participation at all outside of school.

While this study focused on teenage girls, other research shows that participation in physical activity is decreasing among all American children. The National Association for Sport & Physical Education reports that only 25% of all U.S. kids are physically active. And while most parents believe that their children are getting enough exercise during school hours, the President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports (PCPFS) says that only 17% of middle or junior high schools and 2% of senior high schools require daily physical activity for all students.

As a result of this physical inactivity, more and more children are becoming obese. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 13% of children aged 6 to 11 and 18% of teens aged 12 to 19 are overweight. These same overweight adolescents also have a 70% chance of becoming overweight or obese adults and are at an increased risk for developing health problems, such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure and some forms of cancer. In fact, the PCPFS reports that physical inactivity contributes to 300,000 preventable deaths a year in the United States.

Besides preventing the onset of certain diseases, regular physical exercise can also help your child in the following ways, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

Helps control weight
Helps build and maintain healthy bones, muscles and joints
Improves flexibility
Helps burn off stress
Promotes psychological well-being
Reduces feelings of depression and anxiety
As a parent, you need to emphasize to your child the importance of physical activity. This can often be a difficult task, as you may encounter some resistance from a child who enjoys sedentary activities like watching television and surfing the Internet. The American Council on Exercise (ACE) recommends the following guidelines for easing your child into an active lifestyle:

Don’t just tell your child that exercise is fun; show him or her! Get off the couch and go biking, rock climbing or inline skating with your child. Skip rope or shoot baskets with him or her.
Invite your child to participate in vigorous household tasks, such as tending the garden, washing the car or raking leaves. Demonstrate the value of these chores as quality physical activity.
Plan outings and activities that involve some walking, like a trip to the zoo, a nature hike or even a trip to the mall.
Set an example for your child and treat exercise as something to be done on a regular basis, like brushing your teeth or cleaning your room.
Concentrate on the positive aspects of exercise. It can be a chance for your family to have some fun together. Avoid competition, discipline and embarrassment, which can turn good times into bad times. Praise your child for trying and doing.
Keep in mind that your child is not always naturally limber. His or her muscles may be tight and vulnerable to injury during growth spurts. Be sure to include stretching as part of your child’s fitness activities.
Exercise and nutrition go hand in hand. Instead of high-calorie foods and snacks, turn your child on to fruits and low- or non-fat foods.
If you discover that your teen is having trouble staying motivated to exercise, the American Academy of Family Physicians suggests these strategies:

Choose an activity that your child likes to do. Make sure it suits him or her physically, too.
Encourage your child to get a partner. Exercising with a friend can make it more fun.
Tell your child to vary his or her routine. Your child may be less likely to get bored or injured if he or she changes his or her exercise routine. Your child could walk one day and bicycle the next.
Ensure that your child is active during a comfortable time of day. Don’t allow him or her to work out too soon after eating or when it’s too hot or cold outside. And make sure your child drinks plenty of fluids to stay hydrated during physical activity.
Remind your child not to get discouraged. It can take weeks or months before he or she notices some of the changes from and benefits of exercise.
Tell your child to forget “no pain, no gain.” While a little soreness is normal after your child first starts exercising, pain isn’t. He or she should stop if hurt.
With a little encouragement and help from you, your child will be up and moving in no time!

References
American Academy of Family Physicians
American Council on Exercise
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
National Association for Sport & Physical Education
Office of the Surgeon General
President’s Council on Physical Fitness and Sports
The New England Journal of Medicine

Sue Scheff: More Teens Are Getting Plastic Surgery

By Connect with Kids

“I could not stand to look in the mirror one more day looking at me the way I was. I just couldn’t do it.”

– Ashleigh Giglio, 18 years old

The body changes … the teasing. Our insecurity with our own bodies begins in puberty and can continue throughout life. How should parents respond when teenagers say they hate the way they look?

Ashleigh, 18, recently had plastic surgery on her nose to correct a bump caused by a childhood injury. “After she had it done she’s been a different person,” says her mom, Ridley Giglio. “She’s happy. She’s happy all the time.”

Like Ashleigh, many kids grow up disappointed with the way they look.

In 2007, 11.7 million Americans had cosmetic surgery. More than 200,000 were just teens.

But is cosmetic surgery a good option for younger teenagers? Experts say probably not, unless the anxiety is extreme. “The time that parents really need start getting concerned is when these concerns that a teenager has actually gets in the way of them doing things,” says child psychiatrist Shannon Croft. “They don’t want to go to school because somebody is going to notice how they look. They start avoiding social situations, party’s friends they normally would go to,” he says.

Most of the time, concerns about appearance are normal, and dissipate over time, Croft says. “Usually as people get older they get more comfortable with how they look and their body, and a lot of these concerns will diminish on their own.”

Ashleigh’s younger sister Angela wants cosmetic surgery, too. But her mother has decided that at age 14 she is too young. “Angela, that would be something when she’s older, evaluate it then. I just think right now, she’s got the family nose. And there’s nothing wrong with that,” Ridley Giglio says.

Tips for Parents

For most children, adolescence is time of introspection and self-evaluation. Virtually every facet of their lives is put under a microscope as they try to determine where and how they “fit in’ with their family, their peers, and the world at large. Typically, part of this self-evaluation process is focused upon physical appearance. Unfortunately for some teens, the nature of their evaluation tends to be hypercritical, and not very well based in reality. For example, a teenager may become convinced that her nose is too big, her breasts are too small, his teeth are crooked, her hips are too big, and other common misconceptions. Regardless of whether the perceived flaws are real or imagined, the emotional upset and pain experienced by these teens is very real and very painful to them.

How can parents help their teens deal with body image misperceptions? Dr. Rex Forehand, a psychologist specializing in child and adolescent issues, suggests that parents consider the following ideas in helping their children deal with their negative feelings.

Listen and respond when your child talks about negative perceptions of her or himself.
Don't just "wave it off". The negative perception may not be true, but it is important to your child.

Talk and respond with empathy but don't dwell on the negative perception (don't bring it up).
If the negative perception is false, reassure your child. If there is some truth to the negative perception (your child does have ears that stick out, acne, etc.), "counter argue" by presenting the positives of your child.

Work on building your child's self-esteem by:
limiting negative feedback to your child;
praising his efforts and positive behavior;
spending quality time with your child;
accepting your child by communicating love and affection;
teaching your child to use positive self-talk. That is, encourage your child to say positive things about him or herself whenever they do something positive. Parents can do this through modeling by complimenting themselves whenever they do something positive, and by complimenting their child by using phrases such as "you should be so proud of yourself for..."

References
American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery
Grady Healthcare Systems